The Dildo Hypothesis
by phayte1978
Summary: Bakugou is challenged to find Deku's dildo in a group of dildos-


It was all just one big joke- at least that was what it was supposed to be. Mineta thought it would be funny to give all the guys a Clone-a-Willy for Christmas, and all it took was one drunken night for the guys to actually do it.

Too bad it wasn't a drunken night when it all came crashing down on Bakugou...

There he was, sitting back in his room, Kirishima and Kaminari playing a game when it all started.

"Dude, you think you could pick Midoriya's cock out of lineup?" Kaminari asked.

"What kind of fucked up question is that?" he asked.

"He has a point," Kirishima added. "I don't think you could."

And hence- where they were now. All (mostly all) of the class boys, gathered in Bakugou's room with their cloned dildos in hand. "Make sure you write your name on the bottom so there are no cheaters!" Kaminari called out!

"Why don't we just cover our heads and pull our dongs out?" Sero asked.

"Pubes man!" Kirishima exclaimed. "I mean, one look at Todoroki's pubes and game over!"

"He does have a point," Todoroki said.

"Bakugou! No peeking!" Kaminari called out.

"Gah! This is the stupidest game ever!" Bakugou yelled- Sero throwing more tape over his eyes as he kept trying to see what was going on.

"Why are the dildos all glow in the dark?" Ojiro asked.

"Mineta thought it was funny," Shoji grumbled.

"So where is Mineta anyway?" Kaminari asked.

"I think IIda and Kota are keeping him occupied," Kirishima said.

"Are we doing this or not?!" Bakugou barked.

"Oh Kacchan, you're so cute!" Deku chirped, climbing into his boyfriend's lap and kissing his cheek. "You really think you can pick my dick out from all of these?"

"Why the hell couldn't I? Do you doubt me, nerd?" Bakugou growled.

"Of course not", Midoriya giggled, kissing Bakugou.

"Gross! Can you two stop it?" Kaminari whined.

"Ok! Line up the dildos!" Kirishima said.

"That is not something you hear everyday," Todoroki added.

"Just shut up and do it! Midoriya! We need yours!" Kirishima said.

"Oh right!" Deku kissed Bakugou one more time before hopping off his lap and handing his dildo over.

There it was- seven neon green dildos lined up on Bakugou's desk.

"Think we should cut the lights?" Kirishima asked.

"Dude! Yes!" Kaminari yelled, then turned the lights off. The desk glowed in the line of dildos and the guys got to laughing.

"I hate you all so much," Bakugou said.

"Ok! You can take the tape off now!" Kirishima said.

Deku moved over where Bakugou was, gently peeling the tape off his eyes. The room was dark, but there was a glow coming from his desk.

"Oh for fuck sake! Turn the damn lights back on! It is weird enough all your cocks are lined up, I don't need to see them glow in the dark!" Bakugou barked.

The lights turned back on and Bakugou went to inspect the line up of dildos. He really thought this would be over in a few seconds.

The first one was- definitely not Deku's. "This one is too thin," he mumbled.

"Hey!" Sero whined.

The guys got to chuckling. Bakugou knew that one was not Deku's. Pulling the dildo off the desk, he threw it to Sero.

The next one was a bit tougher. Looking at it- it was similar- but no, it wasn't Deku's. "This one isn't it either, his veins aren't all like this." Plus he thought Deku might be a slight bit shorter than this one- not that he was saying that out loud.

"Good call!" Kirishima said, grabbing the second dildo. "That one is mine!"

"I really didn't need to know that," he grumbled.

Was he really inspecting his classmates dicks? All for what? To prove he knew his boyfriend's dick? They really needed some new hobbies.

But he was already in this deep- he had to keep going.

Looking at the third one, he thought that might be Deku's so he jumped to the fourth. "This one is way too big to even be considered a dick!" he yelled, grabbing it and throwing it at Shoji. "You need a damn license for that thing?!"

The next one was a tough one- it was similar to the third. Squinting, there were some similarities, so he just moved to the next one. "Nope, this one's too small."

"Rude!" Kaminari squealed, grabbing the small dildo.

"Ugh! Ojiro! This dildo looks just like your tail!" Bakugou yelled, throwing the next dildo at Ojiro as he turned red and looked away.

Looking over the ones left on the table- he was almost certain he had picked out Deku's.

Of course it was down to IcyHot and Deku. Why did their dicks have to be similar? Grabbing them both, he ran his hand down them- feeling the thickness. That was when he knew. "This one, this is Deku."

"Good call," Todoroki said, grabbing the other dildo from his hand.

Deku came running and leaped into his arms. "Kacchan!" and was peppering his face with kisses. Bakugou gave him a moment before setting him down.

"Now if you extras would fucking leave, I'm going to use this damn thing," Bakugou said, waving the Deku Dildo at the boys.

"But Kacchan! I'm right here!" Deku whined.

Bakugou smirked, kissing pouting lips. "But the dildo can't talk back or ramble nonstop," he said.

The guys all groaned and quickly left his room.

"You could fuck the dildo as I suck you off!" Deku chirped.

Bakugou thought for a moment- he wouldn't have Deku talking his ear off if that was the case. This was really his best case scenario. "Fine, get the lube!" he yelled, undoing his pants.


End file.
